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20 May 2006 @ 12:47 pm
No Hope of Recovery ?  
I feel so pathetic today. I'm really starting to think Im just that type of guy thats supposed to have a shitty social & love life. Like, I really don't fit in anywhere. Either I don't smoke enough pot to fit in with one group, or I don't sleep around enough to fit in with another, or I don't talk about how great I am to fit in with another, or I don't have vast amounts of promiscuous random sex to fit in with another or Im too old or Im too young. I hate it. You know what else is pathetic? I'm going to be 21 and Im a virgin. You would think this wouldnt be a big deal, but Im not one because of religous purposes, I just havent lost it ad I dont plan on losing it to someone random and being a complete whorebag. But to hear about everyone else's constant triumphs just really gets on my nerves after awhile. I just think I'm giving up. One too many failed attempts at finding my 'niche'. And I absolutely refuse to change who I am to fit in anywhere. I am happier with who I am now more so than I have ever been...I think...I just hate that other people make me rethink everything. I hate that. Aaaaaargh. I just don't like where things are at right now. I'm very much lost and sometimes I feel like theres no hope of recovery.
Current Location: home
today I'm:: crappycrappy
in my ear: : Coldplay - Talk